Where I am instead; what a way to conceive of a life, my life, which has been so richly blessed! I think of my lovely wife, my four beautiful children, of the privilege of baptizing three precious children yesterday. Who am I that God can accomplish His purpose through me? What's wrong with God that He chooses not just an earthen vessel, but a cracked and chipped one? Once again the refrain of the Phil Keaggy song, When Will I Ever Learn to Live God?, comes to my mind:
When will I ever learn?
Cause He gives me everything I need and more,
When will I ever learn?"
I am wallowing in the Am I making any difference? silliness, even as regards blogging. This question, while seemingly humble, is arrogant in the extreme. What matters is to follow Christ. I am quite certain that I have followed Him and He has led me to where I am, shaped and formed who I am. So, it is not where I am instead, but where I am supposed to be, where I want to be. Nonetheless, I want to stop, to rest, maybe even quit and do what I want. But what do I want? I want to follow Christ, without Whom life has no meaning, no real purpose! Put simply, I want Jesus Christ! He always says, in His kind and loving way, His irresistible manner, "Scott, come and you will see". I am coming Lord, please do not walk too fast. Do not let me lose sight of you. If I do I am lost.
This brings to my mind words from another song, Hold Me Jesus, one from the late and greatly missed Ragamuffin, Rich Mullins: