"...to love God, and Him only to serve"

Beginning in January 2018, on the Sunday after New Year's Day, the day before you have to get back to what we like to call "real" life, I posted something from the spiritual classic The Imitation of Christ. On 3 January 2018, I was up late due to anxiety about returning to my regular routine. As I read a few things seeking help to relieve my anxiety, I found a website featuring Thomas á Kempis' classic spiritual text. After reading it, I composed a post that consisted of nothing but what I read because what I read helped me: a post. Afterward, I was able to go to bed and go to sleep.

Herein lies the problem: that we consider the daily grind "real" to exclusion of virtually everything else.

I've been thinking a lot about humility lately. Specifically, about my own need to cultivate this essential virtue. I need to get over myself and stop acting as if I am the center. Especially as a deacon, which is my vocation, the way Christ has called me through his Church to live out my baptism, it really needs to be about others at home, at work, in ministry.

Last January, I was reflecting back on 2021, which in many ways was a more difficult year for me than 2020. I was also (predictably) worrying about 2022. While still a demanding and challenging year, 2022 proved to be a bit less daunting. But last week, the first week of 2023, was incredibly busy and, well, bad. It exhausted mea. After a 12-hour day yesterday, a Saturday, I thought- "I can't sustain this pace."

This realization brought me back to those posts. So, tonight, as I ready myself for the second week of the new year, I find myself feeling a bit anxious again. More than that, angry, disheartened, dispirited, bordering on depression.

Tonight, as I pray for the strength, the hope, this second week, to begin a new year, again. I know I am not alone in feeling anxious about what lies ahead.

And so, this Sunday night, as darkness descends, albeit with a lovely sunset here, I pray for the humility necessary to trust God and move ahead with hope, trusting Christ.

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What doth it profit thee to enter into deep discussion concerning the Holy Trinity, if thou lack humility, and be thus displeasing to the Trinity? For verily it is not deep words that make a man holy and upright; it is a good life which maketh a man dear to God. I had rather feel contrition than be skilful in the definition thereof. If thou knewest the whole Bible, and the sayings of all the philosophers, what should all this profit thee without the love and grace of God? Vanity of vanities, all is vanity, save to love God, and Him only to serve. That is the highest wisdom, to cast the world behind us, and to reach forward to the heavenly kingdom (Imitation of Christ, Book I Chapter 3)