I just finished watching Series 3 of the British television program "Rev." This scene, which I post with no spoilers, I found simply breathtaking.
If this doesn't move your heart, you're overdue for a spiritual check-up. I think I can say that we've all been in this place- trying to keep something that matters to us alive and realizing we just don't have the strength to do it. It's beyond discouraging. In my experience, Jesus never comes more quickly to meet me than when I am close to despair. He doesn't give me all the answers, or even try to solve all my problems for me. These experiences are probably why this scene resonates so deeply with me.
Let's face it, life can be a bitch. What's the point in pretending otherwise? I think this is one of the clues, what Rowan Williams might call a "token of trust," that we are made for more. It's okay to follow my heart, as long as I am ruthlessly honest, which is often excruciating.
Writing only on behalf of myself, Jesus always reminds me that, indeed, the open hand has the strongest grip, and that when I am weak, then I am strong. You know what? That's just how it is. I have to trust that it is all leading me not just somewhere, but to where I want to be.
Given all this, smile a little, even through the tears. What the hell? Sing and dance too!
Blogito ergo sum! Actually, as N.T. Wright averred, "'Amor, ergo sum:' I am loved, therefore I am." Among other things, I am a Roman Catholic deacon. This is a public cyberspace in which I seek to foster Christian discipleship in the late modern milieu in the diakonia of koinonia and in the recognition that "the Eucharist is the only place of resistance to annihilation of the human subject."
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