Discerning means choosing

Today is the last day of January 2025. While January started soft and quietly for me, it quickly turned into a time of intense discernment. This was precipitated by two quite unexpected proposals.

These proposals forced me not just to discern about them or between them, as they were mutually exclusive, but to step back and take a broader view of my life, where I am and where I am going, not to mention where I feel I should go and where I want to go over the next few years. While painful and time consuming, this was a good thing. It was painful because, as is the case with discernment, I had to make some decisions. This was inescapable because choosing not to decide would still have been to make a choice.

These decisions are important because as I prepare to turn 60 this year, whatever I decided hugely impacts the rest of my life, particularly in terms of finanical security. Needless to say, I did a lot of back-and-forth, discussed various possibilities, pros and cons, wants and needs with my wife. I also consulted with a few other trusted people.

As with any true discernment, all of this was about deciding between good things. At root, the issue with discernment is any choice you make for a good thing contains a decision to forego other good things. Once decided, there is always that pesky risk of wondering What if? Frankly, I am sure I will wonder that at times. Such is life.

It's good that such decisions are not only about what I want or how choices might impact me. Being married, having children, and supporting my wife in being responsible for an elderly parent, must factor in. Having to think about and give loving consideration to others, at least for me, grounds life. As does being a member of the clergy.

Being a deacon, which makes me a man of the Church, brings forth the consideration of how best to serve Christ. Best serving Christ means best serving His Church. Nonetheless, another aspect of this discernment that came to the fore is a theological one. Even more specifically, an ecclesiological one. It is about distinguishing between the Church as the mystical Body (or, to go De Lubacian- the true Body) of Christ and the institutional Church.

Now, it's impossible to make a hard-and-fast distinction that results in a complete separation of the sacramental from the mundane, the earthly from the heavenly, the divine and the human (oftentimes all too human). I think there has to be some overlap, even if at times it is very thin even to the point of not being very perceptible. Isn't this, after all, the nature of sacraments? And isn't the Church "the universal sacrament of salvation"? (Lumen Gentium, sec. 48)

What is the Eucharist if not transsubstantiated bread and wine that appears to the casual observer no different after consecration than before? And so, while one has to exercise due caution, making that ecclesiological distinction provided me with a key to unlocking what I should do. It wasn't serving the Church but how best to serve while taking my family, my life, and my circumstances into consideration.

Looking out for my future, which is also my wife's future, as well as impacting our children, is very important. Like most people, while I don't ever envision a time when I will do nothing, I do look forward to the day when I no longer have to "go to work" as a matter of necessity. At the end of the day, there was only one path that led to that destination. It will take me a few more years to get there.

One thing was for certain: I couldn't stand at the four-pronged fork in the road for very long. As the title of that old Gospel song put it: "You Got to Move." Larry Howard, Glenn Kaiser, and Darrell Mansfield sing our traditio for this final Friday of January 2025:

Monday of the Third Week in Ordinary Time

Readings: Hebrews 9:15.24-28; Psalm 98:1-6; Mark 3:22-20

The best starting point for Christian faith is not the Most Holy Trinity. Since He is the Alpha and the Omega, Christian faith begins and ends with Jesus Christ. After, all it is Jesus who reveals God as Father and who speaks explicitly about the Holy Spirit and who sends the Spirit.

Jesus Christ is the fullness of God’s revelation. Everything is revealed in and through Him. Taking a cue from our first reading from the Letter to the Hebrews, by His death and resurrection, Jesus ushered in not only a new, but an everlasting covenant. It’s important to note that a new covenant is foretold by the prophets. It is needed because of Israel’s inability to keep the first covenant. Jesus fulfilled the covenant on our behalf.

By His death on the cross, Jesus did away with the need for the whole sacrificial system of the Temple. This means a Temple is no longer needed or, more accurately, that He is now the temple. Through Him, we, too, become temples of the Holy Spirit, places of God’s presence.

There is a lot of weird controversy surrounding the exact nature of the sin against the Holy Spirit. Because all sin is against God and the Holy Spirit, along with the Father and the Son, is God, all sins are sins against the Holy Spirit. What Saint Paul wrote in his First Letter to the Corinthians provides us with a wonderful synthesis of our two readings for today:

Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies (1 Corinthians 6:19-20)

Of course, all sins are not blasphemies. Nonetheless, our sinfulness should make us humble and contrite, not proud or presumptive. As Saint Paul reminds the saints at Corinth, “you were bought at a price.” You must never forget this.

Keep sin at bay by avoiding what used to be called the “narrow occasions” of sin. Desire holiness and foster it through the practice of spiritual discipline, especially prayer, fasting, and almsgiving. Examine your conscience daily. Go to confession regularly. The grace of this sacrament, coupled with frequent reception of Holy Communion, and selflessly serving others, helps stave off the devil.

Also, seek the intercession of our Blessed Mother by praying her Rosary and the Memorare. Make heavenly friends with specific saints and implore them for their prayers and intercession. This is how you live in the light of the new and everlasting covenant.

Word of God- Sunday

Readings: Neh 8:2-4a.5-6.8-10; Ps 19:8-10.15; 1 Cor 12:12-30; Luke 1:1-4; 4:14-21

Given the length of today's readings, especially if the long form of the reading from 1 Corinthians was used in your parish, you received a small taste of what the Israelites experienced listening for a half-day while the priest Ezra read out the law. And chances are, the homily you heard today was longer than the one Jesus gave in the synagogue at Nazareth in our Gospel.

The passage from Isaiah on which Jesus comments is really, like this Gospel reading, a mashup of two passages: Isaiah 61:1-2 and Isaiah 58:6. In his commentary on what He read from Isaiah, Jesus tells those gathered in his hometown synagogue that today what they just heard is fullfilled in their hearing. You see, Jesus is the Word of God incarnate.

Jesus is the Torah, Nevi'im, and the Ketuvim personified. In English words, He is the Law, the Prophets, and the Writings in person. While certainly inspired words, what we have in Sacred Scripture we might call the words of God or the word of God in contrast to the Word of God.

On this word of God Sunday, it bears reminding ourselves that, as Christians, we are not really Ahl al-Kitab (i.e., "people of the Book"). We are the people of the Resurrected and Risen Lord, who is Himself the Word of God.

I think it's hard for us to understand what a provocation Jesus' words were to those who heard him in this pericope of Luke's. Keep in mind, Nazareth was likely a small village of no more than several hundred people. Everyone not only knew everyone, but most of the Nazarenes were likely related to each other in some way. Jesus was of one them.

After going off and gaining some measure of fame teaching in synagogues in other Galilean towns and villages, Jesus came back home to Nazareth. On the sabbath, He went to worship in what Luke clearly indicates was likely the synagogue of His youth. In Catholic terms, He returned to the parish in which he grew up, where everyone knew Him. After reading passage(s) from Isaiah about the Messiah, He sat down, which was the posture for teaching, and told them with virtually no gloss, "I am the Messiah."

Turning back to Nehemiah, the People of God were so eager to hear the word of God that "they knelt down and bowed before the LORD, their faces to the ground" as their posture for listening. Talk about reverence! According to Luke, how do the worshippers in the Nazareth synagogue respond to Jesus revealing Himself to them as their long awaited Mesisah?

After asking "Isn't this Joseph's son?", they dispute His claim. Far from backing down, Jesus basically tells them that it comes as no surprise that they don't believe Him because their fathers didn't believe the prophets but some gentiles did and God blessed them for it. This really pissed them off. So much so that they tried to kill Him by running Him off a cliff (see Luke 4:22-30).

The contrast between the two responses couldn't be more stark. Believing in Christ is a scandal. In 1 Corinthians 1:23, Saint Paul says that "Christ crucified" is "a stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles." "Stumbling block" is a translation of the Greek word skandalon, which is the origin of the word "scandal" in English.

Just as He is really present in the consecrated bread and wine, the Lord is really present in the proclamation of the inspired of words of Sacred Scripture in the assembly (see Sacrosanctum Concilium, sec. 7). In fact, the liturgy is the premiere place for the proclamation of and commentary on the scriptures. This is why preaching is so vitally important! Through the inspired words of God, the Word of God is made present.

As our Gospel clearly shows, Jesus didn't come merely to comfort. He came to provoke. Faith in Christ, if it is really faith, provokes everyone who believes in Him. Through the Holy Spirit, which is always at work through the scriptures, each is provoked in the way s/he needs to be, at least the ones who listen with open ears and hearts.

Saying "Jesus is Lord," at least when said by the Holy Spirit, is a bold declaration, a provocation. It is a provocation both to the one who makes this proclamation as well as those to whom it is proclaimed.

What hearing the Word of God means, in the words of our Blessed Mother found in our Gospel for last Sunday, which came from John, is "Do whatever He tells you" (John 2:5).

Ordination Anniversary

Today was the first time this year that I was tempted to deviate from my plan. As it turns out, my saving grace in this regard, is sacramental grace. Specifically, the sacramental grace of ordination. Today, the Memorial of Saint Francis de Sales, marks the twenty-first anniversary of my ordination as deacon.

Diocese of Salt Lake City, Deacon Class of 2004

Along with 23 other men, then-Bishop George H. Niederauer of Salt Lake City (later archbishop of San Francisco, which was then my diocese's Metropolitan See until 2023), by the laying on of hands, conferred on me the sacrament of orders by ordaining me a deacon. Along with being married, the birth of my children, and my own baptism (/confirmation/communion- 14 April 1990), this was a major event in my life. From that day forward, I have striven to be a man of service, albeit a very imperfect one. Nothing brings my flaws to the fore like pastoral ministry.

For the first eleven-and-a-half years of my diaconate, I served at The Cathedral of the Madeleine. For the past 9.5 years, I have served at Saint Olaf parish, located in the town where I live. Serving as a deacon is both my privilege and my pleasure.

Over the ensuing twenty-one years, nine members of my class have died. To the surviving members: Ad multos anos! I'm currently in a season of discernment. I don't mind saying that I find it rather uncomfortable but feel like I should find it exciting. In your kindness, say a prayer for me.

Our traditio is Tom Jones singing "Burning Hell" off his 2010 album Praise and Blame:

"Deacon Jones please pray for me!"

Year C Second Sunday in Ordinary Time

Readings: Isaiah 62:1-5; Psalm 96:1-3.7-10; 1 Corinthians 12:4-11; John 2:1-11

As we enter this season of Ordinary Time, running from last Monday until Ash Wednesday, it bears noting that, liturgically, Ordinary Time is not contrasted with “Extraordinary Time,” like Advent, Christmas, Lent, or Easter. Rather, it refers to ordinal time, defined as a numbered series. What are serially numbered during Ordinary Time are Sundays. Since every Sunday is “a little Easter,” Christ’s resurrection is the axis around which the liturgical year and Christian life revolves. The Lord's resurrection is the Church's cornerstone and touchstone.

Even though the Church is in Year C of her three-year Sunday lectionary, which means that we focus on the Gospel According to Saint Luke, our Gospel for today is taken from Saint John. Hearing the Miracle at the Wedding Feast of Cana is deliberately congruent with the previous two Sundays, both which are part of Christmas: Epiphany and Baptism of the Lord. Prior to the liturgical reforms that occurred after the Second Vatican Council, the Church observed three Epiphanies: the visit of Magi, the Lord’s Baptism by John in the river Jordan, and His miracle at wedding feast of Cana.

It is only in Year C that the Sunday lectionary keeps the Tradition of the Three Epiphanies. While the Gospels for the Second Sunday in Ordinary Time for Years A and B, during which we focus on the Gospels of Matthew and Mark respectively, also come from John, they tell of when John the Baptist identifies Jesus as “the Lamb of God” and baptizes Him, and when His first disciples follow Him.¹

If you recall, an epiphany is a sudden realization, even a revelation. It might also be described as a moment of heightened perception when you seem to see things in their true light, one might say, see things as they really are. Epiphanies yield insights. When it comes to Jesus, the Epiphany is that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you recognize Him as Lord, as the verse that immediately precedes our passage from 1 Corinthians today asserts.²

And so, just as we ease into Ordinary Time after Easter with our observances of Trinity Sunday and Corpus Christi, we ease into Ordinary Time after Christmas by pondering the Lord’s third Epiphany. Understanding the liturgical year is critically important not only to understanding but to living our Christian faith, the heart of which is the Paschal Mystery. Observing the liturgical year at Church, at home, and in our lives is how we participate in this great Mystery, which is the mystery of creation and redemption.

In the context of Saint John’s Gospel, which is sometimes called “the Gospel of Signs,” Jesus’ miracle at the wedding feast of Cana is the first of seven signs. Another of these signs we will hear during this year is the sixth sign: the Lord’s healing of the man born blind.³ It is the reading for the Mass during which the Second Scrutiny of the Elect takes place.

Confirmation for the assertion that John’s Gospel is the Gospel of signs can be found within this Gospel:

Now Jesus did many other signs in the presence of [his] disciples that are not written in this book. But these [the seven signs] are written that you may [come to] believe that Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, and that through this belief you may have life in his name⁴

Of course, each of these signs are an Epiphany, a revelation meant to bring you to the realization that “Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God,” who came to give you life eternal.

As it pertains to the miracle at the wedding feast of Cana, which is only found in Saint John’s Gospel, if one were to look at all four Gospels sequentially, Matthew-John, this episode marks the final time that the Blessed Virgin says anything. What she says, she says to the servers: “Do whatever he tells you.”⁵ Mary, the Mother of God, and our Mother by the grace of God, directs us to Jesus, not to herself.

Of course, the miracle at the wedding feast of Cana is the second of the Luminous Mysteries of the Holy Rosary. It’s fruit? To Jesus through Mary. As Saint Teresa of Calcutta once insisted: No Mary, no Jesus. We might say, know Mary- k-n-o-w-, know Jesus. Since we’re extending Christmas through Lectionary, let’s not forget, even reaching back into Advent, the great Marian observances: Immaculate Conception, Nuestra Señora de Guadalupe, and Mary, the Mother of God, which solemnity ushers in the new calendar year. If you're not already doing so, pray the Rosary! Pray it daily if you can.

This year, we have an extra treat. The Presentation of Jesus in the Temple, traditionally called Candlemas, which the Church observes on 2 February, and was formerly the observance that marked the end of Christmas, falls on Sunday this year. What a great grace! Let’s allow these sacred observances not only inform us but shape and form us, to bring us to the Spirit-led acknowledgement that Jesus is Lord. This reality needs to then lead us to live lives that further reveal this reality, a life that is itself an Epiphany.

Like the Blessed Virgin Mary, who is our model of discipleship, and through her intercession, let’s lead others to believe in the Redeemer by living like people who are redeemed, like people of the Resurrection.

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1 See John 1:29-34 and John 1:35-39.^↩
2 1 Corinthians 12:3.^↩
3 See John 9:1-41.^↩
4 John 20:30-31.^↩
5 John 2:5.^↩

Cultivating a just love of self

Here we are. The third Friday of 2025 already! I don't know about you, but this year has already had some unexpected twists and turns and that have made things a little tumultuous. None of these are bad things, thanks be to God. It's not bad for me to let myself be pressed a bit. I may have a problem of feeling like I need to be pressed all the time.

It's disconcerting for me after the quiet of the week between Christmas Day and New Year's Day to "get back to it." I've found that adjustment this year even more difficult than usual. I need to get my spiritual life back on track. With the exception of Holy Hour, it's not that I haven't been maintaining my spiritual discipline. Rather, it's the more difficult issue of practicing them in too perfunctory a manner.

A photo I snapped this morning

A bright spot in this New Year is reading Oliver Burkeman's Meditations for Mortals. The best way I can describe this book is that it is a master course in knowing and not so much overcoming yourself but recognizing and working within your limits and doing a better job setting limits. The books consists of meditations over 28 days. Yesterday's meditation, which is Day 16, set forth the "reverse golden rule."

Burkeman takes the concept of the "reverse golden rule" from philosopher Iddo Landau and describes it thus:

not treating yourself in punishing and poisonous ways in which you'd never dream of treating someone else

Now, everyone is not likely prone to this. I don't mind admitting that I am. At times, I am utterly and unrelentingly terrible to myself.

Reading and pondering Burkeman's chapter on the "reverse golden rule" led me quickly not only to think about the golden rule- Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you (Matthew 7:12)- but also the second of Jesus's Two Great Commandments to love your neighbor as you love yourself (Matthew 22:37). The back end of both of these injunctions is that a just love of self is the basis for how you treat others.

Not an earth-shattering insight, I know. But there's knowing something and then there's being struck by what it is you know in a way that shows you, once again, that knowing, as important as that is, isn't everything and, when it comes to life, to living, is insufficient of itself. To put it in an utterly eggheaded way, Burkeman's insight via Landau provided me with a necessary link between knowledge and praxis, between knowing and doing.

Several years ago, I man I had worked with over the better part of a year to return to the practice of the faith to be confirmed and with whom I had developed a warm friendship, committed suicide. Casey was an extraordinarily successful person. He was truly loved by all: smart, hard-working, kind, and generous to all. I was asked to participate in his quite elaborate memorial service. I did so by incorporating elements of the Roman Catholic funeral vigil,which the large crowd seemed to not just to tolerate but appreciate. After all, it was a wake. At each place setting the tables laid out for the banquet was a banner that read Be gentle with yourself & with others. To this day, I keep it in my den (see photo above).

Today's traditio was a little difficult as I want to keep it congruent with what I write. So, being kind to myself, I am going with U2's "A Sort of Homecoming." It is off their Unforgettable Fire album, which remains my favorite of their many albums. Actually, my least favorite song off that album is the one that was most popular and that would be fitting for Monday's holiday:

Let's not forget that Fridays remain days of penance. When understood and practiced properly, penance, while it certainly consists of taking stock of your life and examining your conscience, is not then kicking the shit out of yourself. For a Christian far from it. Rather, it is recognizing and desiring the healing you need and turning to the One who died and rose to heal you: Jesus Christ. As a Balthasarian in this regard, I don't mind asserting that He even went to hell for you. It bears recalling that along with anointing, penance is a sacrament of healing.

Engaging in penitential acts is important and, I believe, necessary. Fasting, abstinence, vigils, cold showers, etc. are good things when done in the right spirit. Yes, I stand ready to still defend Pope Saint John Paul II for his practice of administering "the discipline" to himself, often on the eve of ordaining new bishops. Is this a practice for everyone? Emphatically, NO! Is it a practice for most people, again, NO! I have written a lot on penitential practices over the years of this blog. With Lent coming, I will revisit this soon without a doubt. I will address what it means to engage in penitential acts in the right spirit.

Opening myself up to grace is really the work this requires, ex opere operato notwithstanding:

And you hunger for the time
Time to heal, desire time...

Monday of the First Week in Ordinary Time

Readings: Hebrews 1:1-6; Psalm 97:1-2.6-7.9; Mark 1:14-20

In our first reading, which is the beginning of the Letter to the Hebrews, the inspired writer calls the son of God, through whom God now speaks, the “refulgence” of God’s glory.¹ “Refulgence” is what we might call an old-fashioned word, one that is not used much these days.

“Refulgence” means something like “to shine brightly” or, more succinctly, to be “radiant.” Indeed, the Son, Jesus Christ, radiates His Father’s glory. He does this, according to the inspired author, by being the very mark, or sign, of God’s character. This helps make sense of Jesus words to Philip: “Whoever has seen me has seen the Father.”²

This passage also that in speaking to us “through the Son,” something new and greater than anything that has happened before is now occurring. Not only is the Son greater than the prophets, He is above the angels. As our responsorial implores: “Let all his angels worship him.”³

This seems fitting for the day after our observance of the Baptism of the Lord. Jesus’ baptism by John in the Jordan was a full theophany in which the Father, Son, and Spirit make themselves manifest. Immediately after His baptism, Jesus spent forty days in the desert fasting and praying. Our Gospel today is Saint Mark’s account of what began to unfold after Jesus’ time in the desert, namely His Galilean ministry.

What does God say to us through His Son? He says: “This is the time of fulfillment. The Kingdom of God is at hand. Repent, and believe in the Gospel.”⁴ Those who heed the Lord’s call to repent and believe (it is important that “repent” comes before “believe”) are then called to follow Him, to be His disciples.

True repentance consists of following Jesus, making discipleship not the most important thing in life, but as the life that is truly life. All other concerns become secondary at best, even family and business concerns. What the Lord calls us to is radical.

Simon and Andrew as well James and John set the bar for Christian discipleship. At no point did Jesus tell them to go home, pray about it, seek counsel from friends and family, and get back to Him. He said, “Come after me, and I will make you fishers of men.” Without hesitation, “they abandoned their nets and followed him.”⁵

These men recognized the in-breaking of God’s kingdom into the world in and through this radiant man, Jesus of Nazareth. At that point, there is little doubt they could not have articulated what it was that made them leave everything and follow Him. I think perhaps the Lord didn’t tell them where they were going because He is the starting point and the destination; He is the kingdom of God in person.

Our readings for this Monday of the First Week in Ordinary Time, which falls very early in the New Year, pose a question: What concerns, worries, fears, hold you back from following Jesus, from giving yourself to Him wholly, that is, body, blood, soul, and humanity? What nets do you need to abandon?

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1 Hebrews 1:3.^↩
2 John 14:9.^↩
3 Psalm 97:7.^↩
4 Mark 1:15.^↩
5 Mark 1:16-20.^↩