In today’s Gospel, the Risen Lord asks Peter, who betrayed Him three times, if he loves Him. He asks him this not once, not twice, but three times. The first two times the Lord asks Peter, He uses the appropriate form of the Greek verb agape. He switches gears the third time.
Agape is self-giving, self-sacrificing love. In 1 John 4, in the span of eight verses, we hear twice, “God is love.”1Agape is the word used. Unlike most Western languages, such as English or even Latin, which feature a single word, “love” or, in Latin, amor, to cover a vast terrain of human experience, Greek has four love words: agape, eros, philia, and storge. Each word refers to a different kind of love. At least in Greek, the trivializing "Love is love" doesn't hold.
Eros, of course, refers to romantic love. Storge refers to familial love found among close family members, with a strong emphasis on loyalty- blood is thicker than water and all that (for Christians, water- referring to baptism- is thicker than blood). Much more than a lesson in Greek verbs, this understanding is vital for grasping what is happening in this passage.
Philia is brotherly love, referring to deep and abiding friendship. Aristotle thought this was the highest form of love. Each of the three times Christ asks Peter if he loves Him, Peter replies with philos/philia. This includes the third time, when Peter, clearly growing frustrated, says, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.”2
But the third time the Lord asks Peter, “Do you love me,” He meets Peter where he’s at, so to speak. The Lord does this by using philia (philels, to be exact). What this shows is that, even now, after encountering the Risen Lord, Peter’s love for Him is not yet perfect. Will it be made perfect? If so, how? We receive the answer when the Lord tells Peter,
when you were younger, you used to dress yourself and go where you wanted; but when you grow old, you will stretch out your hands, and someone else will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go3The inspired author, in an editorial note, looking back across the distance of several decades, likely referring to Peter being crucified upside down in Rome, tells us that the Lord “said this signifying by what kind of death he would glorify God.”4 The author then writes the Lord’s final word of this exchange: “Follow me.”5
You and I are also perfected in love by taking up our cross and following Jesus.
1 See 1 John 4:8.16.↩
2 John 21:17.↩
3 John 21:18.↩
4 John 21:19.↩
5 John 21:19.↩
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