"Either way it's okay..."

Friendships are interesting. No two are the same. These relationships are so varied, which is what makes them kind of amazing. At least for me, friendships are difficult to sustain over time. This often isn't the result of a lack of effort. Friendships are, in a word, fragile.

A lot of my Friday posts have become quite personal, which is something new for me. I hardly see my life as instructive for me, let alone anyone else. But my reason for "getting" personal is what I would describe as confessional, not pedagogical. This is somewhat reminiscent of "A dream and making sense of reality" from last December.

"I was going to text you tomorrow," replies a friend who months ago stopped texting (texting to stay in touch- part of the problem, no doubt). This is followed by, "Can I get back you later?" "Yeah sure," knowing this won't happen. After several of these kinds of exchanges it becomes apparent that this person really doesn't want to communicate anymore. A final text- "As you wish," thus offloading the issue back onto you.

Considered from a distance, it's a predictable trajectory. There's the the inevitable question, "What happened?" Honestly, it's usually not a question worth asking.

It's all okay. Almost nothing lasts forever. The world is a transitory place. I need to work on being grateful (graceful) for whatever fruit friendships bear while they last. I admit, this is very hard for me. I tend to hold on to things, to cling to them really, especially people and things I am fond of. Most of the time, the fruit of holding on too tightly is bitterness and resentment, being in a state of loss.

"Oh well" is a phrase I use a lot these days. I mean it when I say it both to myself and to others. Security is found in what lasts. Last night, I watched a short video by Ralph Martin. It's not about his recent firing from Sacred Heart Seminary in Detroit. The title of his video is "Who Will Remember Us?" Watching this gave me solace.

Ralph's video made me think that perhaps I should replace "Oh well" with "It's alright." But a sincerely meant "It's alright." A lot of life, including spiritual life, is making peace with reality, being okay with what happens good, bad, or indifferent. Reality is rarely if ever how/what I want it to be. What's more no one else cares that reality doesn't bend to my desires. Even more, they don't have to and it's probably better that they don't. Getting to that sincerely felt "It's alright" is a struggle.

Martin is the founder and president of Renewal Ministries. Renewal is a Catholic charismatic organization. One overlooked feature of the charismatic renewal is the kind of simple teaching Martin's video contains. This amounts to an emphasis of not losing sight of the purpose of my life. Keeping my end ever in mind is what enables me to navigate my way through. I am reminded this morning of the medieval morality play The Summoning of Everyman (the link is to God's speech at the beginning of the play).

On a tangential note, in the end, Beatrices usually turn out to be Dulcineas.

It's August, if you can believe it! 1 August is the Memorial of Saint Alphonsus Ligori, who is a Doctor of the Church. He is primarily known for his teaching about the complexities of morality. Yesterday it was announced that Saint John Henry Newman is going to be made a Doctor of the Church. Without Newman, I would not be Catholic. Somewhere Muriel Spark, too, is smiling.

I would like to post a performance of Elgar's musical setting of Newman's "Dream of Gerontius" but a traditio lasting more than ninety minutes kind of violates the medium. So, as a tribute to my inabilty to take a more mature view of the transitoriness of life's vicissitude, I am going with Billy Joel's "Leave Me Alone." I choose it a bit tongue in cheek.