Aging, adversity, and "Little Guitars"

Guitarist Eddie Van Halen died this past week at age 65. Like most older Gen Xers, the music of Van Halen was part and parcel of my teenage years. Deaths like Eddie's always strike a bit of an ominous note, one that reminds me nothing lasts forever. Now in my mid-50s, I have come to realize how fleeting youth is.

Almost five years ago, when I turned 50, I wrote something like- while I don't consider myself old, I realize I am no longer young. Even more starkly, unless I live to be unusually old (I am not sure I want to), more of my life is behind me than in front of me. At least for me, middle-age is a strange phase of life, very different from what I expected.

I don't mind sharing with both my readers that this week has been vexing. But the vexation I've experienced has been fruitful. It helped me clarify something very important: what I can reasonably do time-wise while maintaining my sanity and having some semblance of a life apart from duties and responsibilities. It sort of forced me to grapple, again, with my priorities, to refigure them and make some decisions based on them.

Mostly, I am working on boundaries because I need better-defined ones. More than anything else, how you spent your time and resources reveals what your priorities are. Frankly, since mid-May, I have been rather overwhelmed. I have no one to blame but myself. "Discernment" is a word that is bantered about quite a bit among Christians, especially Catholics. At least about important matters, discernment requires some work and dedicated effort. It also requires follow-through.

Adversity, as unpleasant as it is, often helps me see things more clearly. What I've gone through this week is a great example of that somewhat scary assertion. But then, I've always taken life seriously. Truth be told, even now, I usually take life with too much seriousness. I could go on but I will spare you. Suffice it to say, I feel I've done my penance this week in advance of Friday!

Getting to the main purpose of my Friday post- Album-wise, my favorite VH recordings are Van Halen II and Diver Down. Yes, I am a VH purist. To me, Van Halen is Eddie, his brother Alex on drums, Michael Anthony on bass, with David Lee Roth as frontman. My favorite cuts off Diver Down are two pieces both entitled "Little Guitars," consisting of a 43-second guitar lead-in followed by the song. I like the song's wide-open sound, which has the ring of freedom. "Little Guitars" is this week's Friday traditio. Requiscat, Eddie, in pace.