"And grace my fears relieved..."

Forty years I endured that generation.
I said, "They are a people whose hearts go astray
and they do not know my ways."
So I swore in my anger,
"They shall not enter into my rest"- Psalm 95:10-11)

This is closing strophe of the Psalm that normatively is used as the Invitatory for the Liturgy of the Hours. In the Roman Catholic Liturgy, one may substitute several other Psalms for this but Psalm 95 is usually the one. Personally, I use Psalm 95 most of the year. I typically choose another Invitatory for Advent/Christmas and Lent/Easter.

The other morning, which followed a difficult evening, I was reflecting on the final lines of Psalm 95. After a few minutes, I applied it myself. "Fifty-four years I endured Scott. I said, 'He is a person whose heart goes astray and he does not know my ways." So I swore in my anger, 'He shall not enter into my rest.'" By "difficult evening," I mean I did and said somethings I should not have said or done. So, I was feeling guilty. Guess what? Guilt is good if it helps me to repent.

No sooner did I finish that mercifully short but rather sobering reflection than another passage from Sacred Scripture entered my mind:

Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened,
and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me,
for I am meek and humble of heart;
and you will find rest for yourselves.
For my yoke is easy, and my burden light- Matthew 11:28-30

As if that wasn't enough, I am currently reading as part of my morning devotional Provocations: Spiritual Writings of Kierkegaard. After connecting Jesus's invitation to give me rest when I was feeling burdened, I read the 42nd selection in this compilation of Kierkegaard's writings, edited by Charles E. Moore. It is titled "When the Burden Is Light." This selection is taken from Kierkegaard's Upbuilding Discourse in Various Spirits. Here's the main passage I underlined: "It is to this meekness, to this gentle courage that Christ calls us. And what else is meekness except, as it was for Christ on the cross, to carry the heavy burden lightly, just as impatience and sullenness carry the the light burden so heavily."

And so, with Saint Paul:

I am not all I should be, but I am bringing all my energies to bear on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, I strain to reach the end of the race and receive the prize for which God is calling us up to heaven because of what Christ Jesus did for us (Phil 3:13-14- The Living Bible)

Suffice for me to write that I am glad Christ carried the burden I could never bear. Nonetheless, I still find the going heavy at times and I long for a rest. Jesus is always willing to give me rest. How come I keep forgetting this? Because I am weak and forgetful. Jesus never forgets me and, when I condemn myself, he gives me reprieve. This is grace.

What else can our Friday traditio be? Jesus, thank you for helping me see your goodness, your love, your care. Help me to extend all of these to others.

Lest this all sounds too perfect- it was a lovely, radiant morning- all my troubles have not disappeared. The rest of this week has been a slog. I still seem intent on carrying around my light burden heavily. As Van Morrison asked, "When Will I Ever Learn?" And so it goes.