It is impossible to separate Jesus from what we now call Judaism. Without Judaism, Christianity is incoherent. Today’s Gospel sets forth the kind of cognitive dissonance Christ often caused and that the Christian life still causes today.
Today, this dissonance, which is kind of a dialectic, is often a painful source of division. “Dialectic” is a big word. In this context, it refers to a way of thinking and argumentation through which what seem to be contradictions are shown to be paradoxes. A paradox (another big word) is something that looks like a contradiction but, by using the dialectical method, is shown not to be.
For an example of this, we need look no farther than today’s Gospel. Instead of dedicating themselves to prayer and fasting on certain days of the week, as the Pharisees and even the Baptist’s disciples did, Jesus’ followers ate and drank. They feasted instead of fasted.
Jesus doesn’t say his disciples don’t fast because fasting is no longer an important spiritual discipline. He uses an analogy: do you fast at a wedding after the bridegroom arrives? No! You feast.
Jesus is the bridegroom, and his bride is the Church. Every Eucharist is a feast, a celebration, especially Sunday Eucharist. This is why Sundays don’t count as days of Lent. To arrive at 40 day of Lent, you must subtract Sundays.
The Church still fasts. Catholics are obliged to fast on Ash Wednesday and Good Friday. The normal way Fridays are still observed as days of penance is by abstaining from meat. But there is no Friday abstinence when a solemnity falls on a Friday.
Like all spiritual disciplines, fasting has rules. But when it becomes rule-bound, this discipline goes from being a means to becoming an end in itself. Turning these means into ends makes engaging in spiritual discipline worse than not doing them at all. The end to which all spiritual disciplines are but means is love of God and neighbor.As we read even the Old Testament: “I desire mercy, not sacrifice” (See Hosea 6:6 and Matthew 9:13).
As interesting and even important as this is, it isn’t the point of our reading. The point of our readings is about judging others. Saint Paul, who experienced plenty of judgment during his years of ministry, much of it quite harsh, wrote that he doesn’t even judge himself.
Many people think that self-judgment leads to more lenient judgment. While I suppose this is sometimes the case, I’ve found, in working with quite a few people over the past few decades, that a lot of people, probably most, judge themselves quite harshly. I know people who are very merciful towards others yet merciless towards themselves.
There’s a podcast I often listen to that is hosted by a pastor, Steve Cuss, who, along with his wife, is also a counselor. At the end of each episode that features a guest, Cuss has them endure what he calls “the gauntlet of anxiety-inducing questions.” The first of the three questions he asks is, “What’s one way that you treat others that if you started treating yourself the same way, your life would be better?
Many times, the guest answers the question along the lines of, “My life would be better if I extended as much grace and mercy to myself as I do to others.” As Christians, we’re often sadly programmed this way from a young age.
Years ago, I participated in a memorial service for someone with whom I had the blessing to work as he returned to the church. Sadly and unexpectedly, Casey, who was a successful and much-beloved guy, took his own life. At each table setting at his memorial service was a card that read: “Be gentle with yourself and with others.” I keep this card on a shelf in my den as a reminder.
Time and again, Jesus shows us the face of the Father. God is not an angry tyrant. He is a merciful and loving Father, one who constantly works for your good. As scripture states it: “God is love” (1 John 4:8.16). God isn’t just love in a generic sense, but is agape, that is, self-sacrificing, self-giving love.
Christian morality makes no sense until you’ve experienced God’s love. Genuine morality is a loving response to the love of God. It is the fruit of a life grounded in and lived from God’s love, made manifest by loving your neighbor as you love yourself- don't too quickly forget not only to love yourself but let yourself be loved.
