Not to be too hard on myself, that consistency has continued pretty much through the first month of this year. Hey, life is more than blogging. I am cool with this simply being a really late traditio to bring January to a close.
After my long discernment, which unfolded pretty much over the whole of last year, I am trying to wind things down on one hand and not start winding things up on the other until after I take a few weeks' break in between. Needless to say, this has been futile. Because things aren't winding down, I've started to realize how incredibly difficult the past three and a half years have been on me. What sane person would accept the levels of responsibility I have been shouldering?
When I have time, I've just been feeling exhausted. Lately, this is partly due to a stomach bug I've been battling. It's not bad enough to bring me to a halt but it's physically draining.
Perhaps the worst result of these past years is that it has made me very impatient and intensified my need to be in control. I am blessed that I have been able to recognize these tendencies and to make them a matter of prayer. True to form, I am most impatient and unyielding with myself. Msgr Giussani's exhortation to learn to gaze upon myself with the same tenderness with which Christ gazes upon me has very much guided me over the past few weeks.
Nobody talks much about the personal and emotional dimension of retiring from a career you've spent decades building. It's disorienting. This, too, has been a cause for deep reflection. In what or in whom do I find my identity. For a Christian, of course, the correct answer is in Christ. Finding my identity in Him is the center from which I am supposed to live. How am I doing in this regard? This question has given me a lot to reflect upon and converse with Him about. I look forward to Lent this year.
Pater Tom, a.k.a. Father M. Louis, O.S.C.O.
Today is the birthday of Pater Tom. Discovering one's true identity in God is at the center of Merton's spiritual theology. I have too long absented myself from Pater Tom's writings. One of my favorite books remains his Confessions of a Guilty Bystander. Rather than a long discourse on Merton's theology, I will just provide the summary, taken from his chapter on self-identity found in his book New Seeds of Contemplation: "The secret of our identity is hidden in the love and mercy of God." Of course, Jesus Christ is God's love and mercy incarnate.
Since the start of 2026, my preaching has been very much about the uniqueness, necessity, beauty, truth, and goodness of Jesus Christ. I feel impelled to preach the fundamental Gospel message: Be repenting and be believing, to use the literal translation of Mark 1:15. He is, indeed, the vine and we are the branches. Without the vine, the branches wither and die.
Last night, I attended a high school performance of Frozen in which my youngest son performed. It was amazing and the young women and men did a fantastic job. Never having seen the movie, I was struck by the parallels to C.S. Lewis' Chronicles of Narnia (as far as never watching Frozen, I didn't read the Chronicles of Narnia until I was in my forties!). Bending back to the previous paragraph, in Frozen, Aslan never shows up. Thinking this led me to realize how existential we've become. It gave the story a kind of Becketian feel for me.
Since the Gallagher brothers have made up and hit the road last year, I going with an Oasis song that has been on my playlist for several now- "Live Forever"- for our Friday traditio. Face it, despite our increasing refusal to recognize the transcendent dimension of being human, we all want to live forever:
That's a wrap for January 2026.
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