As both of my readers know, I have been discerning. What about? I have been discerning about whether to retire from my longtime career to pursue a new opportunity.
Last week, I (finally!) I decided to retire this coming March and do something different. What that something is I will not divulge right now. I will say that it is coming back to work for the Church fulltime. I worked fulltime for the Church when I was newly married some thirty years ago both at the diocesan and parish levels. A year into what became my career, I nearly left to come back to work for the Church.
It was during the latter part of those 2+ years working for the Church that I was invited to discern a call to the diaconate. But I did not start diaconal formation until after I had embarked on the career from which I am now retiring.
There was a lot to consider in making this decision. I won't bore you with the details. I very much appreciate both the patience I was granted and the persistence I was pursued while trying to figure this out. It's a rare thing to have that long. I was very much encouraged by a few friends (also deacons) who were in my position and made the choice I made.
Even when you know how to discern, there is still a decision to be made. In other words, you can get stuck in discernment mode. Saint Ignatius' way of figuring out if you discerned well is that the decision brings you peace.
After requesting retirement, I waited a day until the formal process was under way. Once it was, I felt at peace. I had an intial indication up front that this is the path down which the Lord is calling me.
Nonethless, there were still some things to be figured out. I also couldn't make a good decision by putting too much pressure on myself. I needed time and space. But still, eleven months in this case was not time spent dawdling. There comes a time to decide. As Rush famously sang: "If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice."
I was patient with the Lord and with myself. Others were patient with me. I am grateful for that and for this new opportunity. I will share the specifics in due course.
"And now for something completely different..."
I followed up reading British historian Laurence Rees' recently published The Nazi Mind: 12 Warnings from History by reading one of his earlier works: Auschwitz: A New History. I have been supplementing this reading by watching some documentaries on this period. The documentaries I am watching are 30 minutes or less. These are filling in some gaps in my knowledge and looking at things a in a more granular way. To give an example, last night I watched French Priest Turned Nazi Traitor with 2 Lovers Executed: Alesch.
And so, a few days ago I listened to Amy Grant sing Michael W. Smith's song about the Holocaust: "Lead Me On," which is our Friday traditio. Smith wrote the song for Grant who recorded if for her 1988 album of the same name.
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